Salvation....

He swept over me, an avalanche coming down the mountain called Hurt.

Mindlessly breaking through my defences

He knows it not

Still

He knows nothing of where I have been

Of why I was climbing

I watch him quietly live his life next to mine

Finding the places where we fit

Living in those moments

Watching stars glitter and fade

Watching clouds grow, break and pass on

Holding hands

In silence and in pain

I do not know what I do for him

I am nothing

Used and abused by myself and others

Torn down, bruised and beaten

A heart worth nothing

In pieces destroyed

And yet

They came to him

To speak their truths, their exaggerations, their lies

He kept moving

Bursting through my defences

Taking me as I am

And loving me

Or not

I still doubt him

Doubt myself

I still wait patiently for him to leave

My truth, they always left me

That’s the part they haven’t told him

I cannot shout from the rooftops what I feel

We live our love in secret

Hiding in plain sight

But I believe in him, in me, in us

In those little things I know without knowing

In the declarations we have made

In the dark

Holding on to nothing but each other

I believe in that

It cannot be pretence

The way he breathes my name

It cannot be a dream

And yet

When I wake he is not here

I search for shreds of what I remember

Memories that will not be again

Confusion

And then he is here

An avalanche

Mindlessly coming down the mountain

Destroying every barrier he encounters

I failed to recognise the mountain’s real name was Freedom.