Listening to Alicia Keys tonight while at work, I had a thought that rocked me to my core. I have been following this particular train of thought for the past few weeks but it culminated in a moment in a song where it hit me like a heatwave that life really is too short when it comes to love.
I am single. But I haven't always been and those who know me well will attest to the fact that even though I am pretty cool as a single girl, no pressure there, my nature THRIVES when in a wholesome and healthy relationship. So it follows that I am the kind of person who will fight for what or who I love...no cost, no consequence...all or nothing...
As a result a person like me can very often times find themselves in an unhealthy situation. A situation in which they are taken for granted, emotionally battered and thrown back and forth, shortchanged, under appreciated and just basically made to feel like a sack of raw sirloin under the butcher's mallet. Trust me, nobody ever wants to feel like that.
How many really know what love is...
I think the word "love" has become dangerous. It is often misused. At other times it is used with good intentions but the user finds that they cannot really be responsible for all the things that follow with such a declaration...that is usually where the danger lies. Bridges burn and rebuilding is a costly exercise when the match used to light the fire is betrayal...there are people like me who live for bridge building and do all they can to be the perfect one, but sometimes we mess up and the consequences can be dire...to quote the words of my best friend a week ago "We are all different. Just because you react a certain way it doesn't follow that the next person is required to react the same." And its true. But I have always believed in do unto others...
I like to practice "love" the way my mother taught it to me. Once I asked her what she thought "love" means and she said "The capacity to put another person completely above yourself even to the point of death." many times people think of death as in, losing one's life but I am slowly learning that this death comes in many ways. Dying to my pride, dying to my fear, dying to my insecurities and lack of trust, dying to my selfishness, dying to my love of my own space and individuality...because many times love will require you to become an indivisible part of a powerful whole...death can mean alot of things...but when you are dying to the right things and growing with the right person you find that there is so much life to be lived TOGETHER...
Anyway, I learnt all this in my last relationship. The one relationship that actually made me a visibly better and more patient person. A relationship for which I am absolutely grateful. A relationship with a person who if the moment that I met them came to me again, I would choose him wholeheartedly without a second guess....and I think that's what I needed to learn...that love isn't about it working out and being amazing and for life for everyone...sometimes love is about those moments that are priceless and irreplaceable and that can never be recreated but neither can they be forgotten. Life really is too short. I choose to spend it loving till my last breath, the way God loves me or as close to that as I can get.
And in those moments, be grateful for that moment when you look at the person sitting next to you, hold their hand and smile because that feeling will always be there, no matter how far apart we may truly be...
1 Corinthians 13
#OdeToLastNight #LoveOverEverything #TitaniumSolid #Kilimanjaro
M.M
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