The first of a lot of pages.....walk with me.....

I don't believe in coincidence any more. Nothing happens accidentally...the man you met on the street, the woman who spilt her drink on you in the bus, the child that wouldn't stop crying at the corner....never an accident...always something to think about.

There are so many things I have seen and heard, thought and done, believed and championed...so many things that still haunt me. And yet...I still make mistakes. the same old ones, even newer more stupid ones or once in a blue moon, the one mistake I don't even realise I made....

What moves you? Which little thing, remains in your memory, a question, a thought, an image of a maybe or a might have been? How many things do you believe you would do differently if the chance to re-do came along?

I know for a fact there are many of those in my memory. Things I would have done very differently if I had known the outcome. But the memories stop at regret. Because I don't have many of those. Regrets. I know for a fact that all the things I have seen and heard, felt and suffered, loved and lost helped to make me who I am today. Sounds so overused, underrated....but its true. I hate the uni I went to. But I met so many people and did so many things that taught me about myself. I didn't know for sure what I wanted to do with my life till uni kicked me out of my little bubble and showed me that I don't really want a book education....and that's only one thing....

It crossed my mind yesterday, as I went to sleep hampered with worry about today and it's inevitably heart rending outcome, that the things I can't control are all lessons. And when today came and went and I was still standing upright, I smiled to myself and said thank you...for the little things that I CAN change....and took the last step home....because it's all step by step, this journey called Life...and I'm becoming best friends with that woman named Acceptance....she is difficult...but she is very real...and she comes along with her daughter Peace...peace found in the knowledge that I can't change everything about tomorrow....but I can accept and be grateful for the little things...and for the fact that I am still here, still kicking, still learning, still alive.....

Maybe that's the might have been I should be concentrating on....maybe, I should think about what if I didn't have all the things I do have??? The past is gone...we can't change it..but I know for sure, that for every tear you ever cried, you smiled a hundred smiles...and that in itself, was not a coincidence...or an accident...its something to be very thankful for.....