Thursday, 12 July 2012

Hurt



Hurt

Sometimes we think in our little shallow minds that hurt hurts…that when your boyfriend dumps you or cheats on you then that’s hurt…yesterday I met Hurt…not saying the other stuff isn’t painful but yesterday I met Hurt…and he is a tall, fat, horrible man to behold….

Pain is different…it means many different things to many different people. For example, I think the prick of a needle at the hospital is painful…and the way your arm gets so squeezed up when the nurse checks your pressure…that’s painful too…but it won’t scar you….

Yesterday, I was scarred…..

Once, a long time ago, a dog chased me. I ran so hard and so fast and I fell…scraped my arm on the asphalt. Gosh that hurt!!!! I had a huge black thing on my arm to remind me for years…still got a little scar on my elbow actually. For ages after that I couldn’t be around any kind of dog. Until last year…and even then, old Bruno freaked me the hell out!! Well, in the beginning he did…..

Anyway, the point of this story is that…when I am uncomfortable, I run…and fast…..and then in the process sometimes I get tripped up by my fear and the outcome is never good…leaves me with horrid scars…and then I spend years trying to get over things…

Wouldn’t it be better if I could look at the fear and see the lesson in it and walk away with something good? I mean, yesterday I was hurt, I cried my eyes out and it felt a little better afterwards…and then I looked somebody in the eye and didn’t say anything…and when somebody called her names a minute after, I defended her because she is the sister of my heart and I love her….

So many times I needed to be rescued she was there…and she has kept me even when she was mean or I was foolish for almost ten years…that doesn’t just go away no matter how painful it felt to see her stab me in the back…I know that if I was dying in the street I could still call her and she would hurry to help me…because deep down inside she still loves me, no matter what I do…and I love her just the same…that is my lesson…to see the good in my hurt…because I could have lashed out…but ten years of living with somebody on and off is stronger than a little needle prick at my pride….

This is about a relationship…but not about a boy...it’s about somebody I really love that really hurt me…but they taught me something. No one has the power to hurt me more than my friends…but I won’t put my guard up and I won’t run, because I love her still…I choose to forgive, forget and move on…no tripping this time…..

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