Wednesday, 16 January 2013

Just another one of my musings....(First post in 2013)


Surprise me with your scent and I might look your way for more than the minute it would take to forget you….startle me with your laughter and I might want to hear you laugh again. But bedazzle me with your intelligence and I will fall in love with your mind…and then I will do all the other things…look and listen….

We have all these expectations of people. The way they look determines who we believe they are before they ever tell you what their name is. A gangster, a player, an introvert, an arrogant bossy old maid….only to find when you give them half a chance that they are more than what originally met your biased eye. Judgement.Assumption. Pre-conceived notions of the worth or character of a person you have never met. And then after all the thinking and miscalculations, they never mattered anyway.

Sometimes in life you meet somebody who matters. Somebody who makes you think that perhaps there is more to life than the shallow talk of the boys at the corner and the girls in the salon; somebody who dreams. There is nothing more attractive to me than a dreamer. If you can dream it you can create it.

I am not the smartest person. Neither am I the most beautiful. But I have one great asset, my heart. A huge well of feeling and emotion, joy, sadness, anger, confusion, purpose, hope, despair and all the other beautiful and horrible things that make me human. And once in a while, the little door at the corner of it, locked with a key that lives on a golden chain, opens to let somebody in....somebody who appeals to my sense of being me...For so long I have believed I was the only one like me. Then I met somebody. I cannot describe him. Friend, almost love, dream or figment of my imagination….all I know is he is like me. He feels like me. Or does he?

Funny thing is the first time I saw him I judged him. Learn a lesson from me. The shyly staring cute boy who I thought was just another somebody out there turned out to be an intelligent, driven, focused, balanced and incredibly sexy young somebody going very far.

He is so funny and smart and young and ambitious and inspiring. So many things you wish a person to be, whether he be your friend, your son, your brother, your father...and he has been hiding in a faraway corner of this world for me to one day discover almost by mistake. He was an incongruous piece of an irrelevant puzzle. Sticking out like a sore thumb. He is too tall. But I was singing and he saw me. And boy did he see me….when I finally saw him with my short sighted eyes the wheel had already began to turn.

So take this as a public apology from me and my big heart that is still trying to figure you out. Your scent came last. Your laughter tickles me from the tips of my toes, I wish I could make you laugh all the time…when you speak I really listen, do not be deceived.  You startled me with your exuberant and joyful nature, positive energy clothes you like a coat of armor. Your mind, I am in love with your mind. It is the most colorful kaleidoscope there ever was, startling in its unique brilliance.

I looked away…..and then I looked again…your scent came last...look and listen…I am still looking…and I know it will take forever to forget.

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