Tuesday, 7 January 2014

Of Thronerooms And Other Issues...



She always had purpose. Big "cahunas" as they said. Guts. Drive. Passion. A brilliant mind. A resilience that people admired and sometimes feared because it seemed she could get through anything. Brokenness was not a feeling she was familiar with.

But brokenness she discovered was part of growth. And so like a house swept clean she woke up one day empty. Devoid of all emotion. Expectant of something, someone, a wind, a change and push, a pull, a tug, a wave...something...empty heart, empty mind, strong.

And all sorts of things followed. Career moves and liftings, attention from the most unlikely places and people and progress. But the throneroom remained empty.

Now when she sits back and thinks about it, those were defining moments. Crowning moments. She has slowly developed into a semblance of a queen. Gracefully accepting. Quietly progressing. Thoughtfully reacting most of the time...

There is lots to think about.

A man.

Alot to think about.

When she thinks now, she remembers the nerves. Not quite knowing how to ask. And how the first impression was so wrong on both their parts. She remembers the weirdness that was not unpleasant but was still weirdness. A particular disjointedness of sensation, like half kneeling with arms akimbo. Poised to jump. She remembers not understanding certain things and moments when he would stop in mid sentence and start calculating something, eyes afar, forefinger squiggling imaginary numbers on an imaginary white board as they sat at the traffic lights. A moment later he would be back, bashfully trying to remember what he had been speaking about. And then one day she was so used to it and fond of it that it made her smile even when he was miles away.

So many pictures, immortality on paper, on hard drives...every day a journey...how he would call before bed and say "Thankyou for helping me navigate through today, I really appreciate it." And she would smile because it made her feel useful and special. And she wonders now when she sits next to him, at which point she became so bound up in the man. When he became so important.

Was it when he hurt his knee and she saw him grimacing in pain and to her chagrin could not do anything to make it go away...everytime she saw him in pain she felt it like her own. Tears popping into her eyes when he cringed in pre-surgery. Like her child, but more than her child, her man. Her half. Her Adam.

Or was it when he laughed and joked and danced and made the ladies giggle and she felt the pride of knowing that no matter whose head he turned, she had turned his and he would be going home with her, and talking about forever to her and nobody else...knowing that he felt, something different and inspired her to feel something different. When they went to the movies and he was everywhere and everything and the world spun around and around and they were just so caught up in each other that it didn't matter how cold it was outside because they would keep each other warm.

A different kind of love.

A scary kind of love.

There is no blueprint for how it is supposed to go, a rule book, a pyramid of forecasted moves and logical conclusions and possible outcomes like connecting the dots. No pattern that says, boy meets girl, they both like custard, boy plays girl a song, girl sings along. Boy meets parents, they marry and they migrate to a pink house with a white picket fence and have five babies that look like their great grandparents.

Nobody tells you about meeting at night in a room full of people who don't care, butterflies in your tummy, milk in his. Nobody tells you that it will be bright red toe nails on bare feet that he will remember till the day he dies. Nobody tells you about not knowing that when you took that first picture his heart would be beating like a million horses at full gallop and that you would not know or hear it because his best asset would always be his ability to hide emotion. Nobody tells him that one day he would fail to hide that emotion from you above all others in the world.

Nobody tells you that it will be weird and complicated and that you will have silly things that bind you together like bone necklaces and bracelets, or songs that you sing along to together...things that you saved in the fire. Nobody tells you what a shock it will always be everytime you finish off each others sentences or that everytime that happens and you smile he would smile back and make the sun come out. Nobody tells you how deeply every argument will hurt and how the first time he calls to make peace he would make a decision to never let a fight brew and fester overnight. And that the day it does will scar both of you for good. Nobody tells you how strong the feelings get. And how quickly it happens that you can't remember the last time you spent a day without thinking of him.

Nobody tells you that there will be no white picket fence house on the prairie because you would rather have an open plan living room and you want glass sliding doors and there will a fence made of iron bars with a black gate outside and flowers up the driveway and you want two kids and not five. Nobody tells you that the road to all of that is paved with barbed wire and frequented by snakes. Nobody tells you that. You walk in blind and find out for yourself.

Its nice to sit and think. She sits and she thinks. About boyish hands and slender fingers, about watching him, a head and a half taller than the rest of his soccer team, patting backs, giving out water, strategising and leading and being so sexy in those shorts. She thinks about oranges, and kisses that taste like red wine. She thinks about pineapples and how he always went out of his way to show her what she meant to him in the most meaningful ways bringing tears to her eyes perpetually...and how alarmed he still gets every time she cries. She could sit and think for hours about all the things she loves about him. And the thoughts are beautiful.

She still has guts. And she is still resilient. Out of that brokenness, the pieces rebuilt into a tower, a pillar, a monument to life and love and pain and experience. And she is still the one to watch, the one to beat, the underrated gem. Still. But now, regardless of cost or consequence, the throneroom is no longer empty...filled by presence, purpose, lifeblood, shock...Adam.




One more day, one more night, one more step...every day a journey...outcomes unknown...blind faith...there is healing in hope...


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