The Plunge

Got a new gig a couple weeks ago...I am now a proud rookie radio presenter working out of a REALLY cool radio station called PowerFM. Absolutely LOVE it! The atmosphere, the people there, the brand, love love LOVE it! But that's not the reason for this blog post.

 My show has to do with social commentary...I play music and talk about stuff. In my search for topics, I asked around and a lot of interesting stuff came out. One that I will discuss at the six week mark is the topic of "Marriage"...now I am not married or engaged. Let's not start a rumor. But I have strong opinions on the subject and I know what kind of life I want to live when I am married and I thought I would just document this here so that I can refer to it if ever I find myself straying from the path. 

I know that the traditional approach to love and relationships has faded in a lot of ways. Infidelity and divorce have become so normal in the world we now live in that it scares even me, the most hopeless romantic, away from the prospect of life with someone for fear of that life partnership being shortlived.

 I believe in LOVE for the sake of it. *refer to older posts*

Because I believe I often find myself looking at people who don't believe or people who take it for granted and shaking a little bit. Its rare in this day and age to meet someone who thinks about "holy matrimony" as just that. A holy and sacred partnership that deserves one's absolute BEST.

Someone very close to me speaks of marriage in the most beautiful terms...one of the things he says is that, you get married to spend your life with your best friend, growing, living, learning and loving with this person who fits, and the moment you don't want to do stuff or spend time with them, something is wrong, something is lost...that sounds ideal...but in real life people hardly ever get married for that reason or with that mindset.

Reasons topping the list are pressure, age, financial security, stability, baby-on-the-way, and other unhealthy things. Now don't misunderstand me, some of these things do matter.

For instance, I will not get married knowing that I cannot sustain myself, I have no income or stability of my own and I am not bringing anything to the table but bills. It follows that if I am stable the person I am partnering with must be as well. But I will not get married to OBTAIN that stability from the relationship. That is using. I have to know that my reasons for being with this person in that way, are correct, solid, based on the right things, the right feelings, the right motives.

That being said, I want to get married to someone I believe in, someone I respect, someone I love and cherish who reciprocates my feelings for them and my commitment to them and I want to marry this person because I know that the love I feel is real and only FOR them and that I do not want to live my life without them. Really and truly, when I get married I will be marrying for love.

A complete person teaming up with another complete person to create a formidable force. 

And I want a marriage where we learn and grow and create and procreate and love and laugh and breathe together and support each others lives and dreams and become one in any and every way imaginable.

Where we have weekend barbeques and cook together and laugh together and when people come over we have silent conversations across the room from each other that we laugh ourselves to death over when everyone is gone and there's just you me and the dishes.

 Where I don't have to tell you, you just know.

Where I am the first person you look for when you are down and the first person you look for when you are winning.

Where we don't sleep if we aren't sleeping together because the bed just doesn't feel right if we aren't holding each other in it.

Where everything I am is you and everything you are is me because we are one and happily so.

That's what I want, regardless of how unbelievable it seems.

 It is important that I get this just this way because of the person I am. I want to be one of those wives...the type that makes the young ladies shake their heads and the older women nod in approval. The type of wife who cooks, cleans, washes, irons, has babies, takes impeccable care of her home and her kids...the type of wife who goes out of her way to make her man happy, even when he protests because her joy is fully expressed through his...the type of wife who will sacrifice and pour her heart out in dedicated service to her K1ng...because that is the type of person I am...

I have to be with a person who makes it easy to be that person...I'm blessed to have found myself with someone who made it easy to love them but that is not easy to find or to sustain...because often times people would rather take advantage of one's kindness or mistake genuine feelings for weakness...and that's why I guess other women settle and then fail to be everything to this man who isn't everything to them. The same goes for the men...and then problems start.

Because there are gaps people find other people to fill those gaps. Because you got married for the wrong reasons you find yourself living like you're single and resenting the person you share a house with. You stop trying and things fall apart. And the hurt and damage is irreparable. 

I know for a fact that I will be sure before I say I do. I go over my checklist every day...and make sure that the red flags are not flying. Make sure that when I close my eyes and picture that day I do not feel afraid. And if I ever do, I'm running. Because life is too short to sign away to bondage with the wrong person for whatever reason.

Life is too short to have half, when you can have EVERYTHING. 

If you know in your heart that he found you and when you really think about it, its perfect and you would fight any and everything to keep it, no matter the hurt, anxiety or pain involved, then do so...and if you know in your heart that you found her and you will never find anything or anybody like her and she makes you feel like peace and home and comfort and the prospect of life without her is bleak and horrifying then don't make her your "maybe"...hold on tight and don't let go... :)

 #LoveSomebodyToday

#TitaniumSolid #Kilimanjaro

Unforgettably Yours,

Miss Mahogany