I sat and watched them walk out of the hospital. The look on Julius' face a mixture of so many emotions. So many things he could not say.
That hospital would always remain a sacred place to him.
Walking to the car, hands shaking, eyes full of tears he slid into the front seat and laid his head on his hands and wept.
How far they had come, so close, so solid. Hearts beating in perfect harmony and he had taken it all so horribly for granted. Mistakes irreparable, things he could never erase, never take away. Hurt. So much hurt. And all his fault.
It was all he could do to not punch himself in the face even though he knew that still would not change what had happened. And he had tried. He had tried with all his might to make it right and now this moment...
He wept.
I watched as she walked slowly round to his side of the car. The babies were safely in the back seat. But his heart was more important and she didn't understand.
The months after the accident had been so hard. But they had made it. Through the physiotherapy and the painful sleepless nights. Through those difficult, difficult conversations and the tears.
It took her three months to calm down inside and for a person like her, that was alot. Nothing ever rattled her in real life. But that had been a nightmare. And she was beyond rattled for so long.
The weight had no choice but to come off. All eight kilograms of it. She had opened another shop. That's how enraged she was. It was good for business.
And then he walked into church that Sunday morning and sat next to her and held her hand. Something inside her snapped. Like all the rivers, lakes and oceans in all the world had converged behind her eyes and spilt out. She couldn't stop crying.
It didn't take long after that for him to start sending flowers and arranging cute little dates. Opening the picnic basket and finding it empty except for the most exquisite 24 carat diamond ring, sitting on top of a sandwich was the most beautiful moment in their journey. She didn't have to say yes, he already knew.
And now they had twins. A boy and a girl. So what on earth was he crying about? This was a happy moment. Or wasn't it?
I knew her thoughts and her fears and her concerns. But I also knew he was crying because he didn't deserve the chance she had given him.
Its not easy to be a man that proud and make mistakes so large and say you're sorry and mean it. Its easier to walk away. Chalk it up to a bad decision and luck out. Wait for the next thing. Nobody really wants to sift through rubble. Its easier to walk away and say that everything was burnt.
But he had done it. He had gambled. He had fought for her and he had won. And she was worth every second of pain. Every uncomfortable conversation. Every tear. Every sleepless night. She was worth it. She anticipated his every mood, catered to every need, laughed at every joke, calmed every storm, diminished every fear. She did everything right. Even when she was wrong she was right. For him.
He didn't deserve it. He knew that. How many times had he given up on her? How many times had he ignored her little attempts to get his attention, to make him smile, to be there for him because he thought he could do it better without her?
How many things did he take for granted? When her jaw clenched in pain everytime he got too close to someone at an event or her patience whenever he ignored her calls? His arrogance and selfishness and self-sufficiency. His ability to make her feel so unnecessary and inadequate without ever even trying? And she had almost died because of him.
Yet here she was. Never a harsh word, never a cold answer, never rejecting him. And she had given him babies too. He had no words. Looking up at her he struggled to find something to say to explain. She looked down at him and he didn't have to speak.
She knew...
THE END...
Don't lose the one you need for the one you want. Life and Death are just a decision apart.
#AmorVincitOmnia #LoveOverEverything
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