Why is he on the news?
Arrested? For what? Oh God, let me call his mother.
I have loved before. But not like this. Its been four weeks and it still feels like he did this yesterday. Just yesterday he was here. It hurts like a truck sitting on my heart.
He's my best friend. We laugh, we talk, we dance, we eat, we love. Who am I going to grab the last piece of chicken in the bucket from now? I actually can't handle this.
Why didn't he call me. Doesn't he know I will always be there for him? And now on the news? Everyone is gonna think I did something now. And I really didn't. I thought we were alright. I thought everything was going really well. I mean yeah, he was a bit weird but he gets busy sometimes. Its not a thing.
Did I give him too much space? Maybe he thought I was not interested. Or paying enough attention. And I gained weight. Gosh. All those funny barbeques with the girls. I need to start working out.
This break, is it like for good or what? Eish! My mind is actually all over. And I haven't been to the stores all week. I should go in today. But first let me call his mother.
I wish he knew what I feel in my heart. There is nothing I would not do for him. He has made me so happy after so much sadness in the past. One day I will show him. If God gives me that chance. I will show him. And if he comes back I will do better. I will spend more time with him and lose this weight. Maybe there was something I wasn't doing. Or is it because we are not sleeping together anymore? But he said he was okay with waiting.
Lord I don't know. But you do. So help. I need help.
Oh God, let me call his mother for real now...
To Be Continued...
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